You got dumped again, huh? We’d say “sorry about your luck” if we thought luck had anything to do with it. To be perfectly honest with you, however, the fact that you keep getting dumpedover and over again is probably your fault. Sorry, pal. Now it’s time for some tough love.
We know it’s easier to believe that all women everywhere are crazy: they don’t understand you, they don’t know what they want, etc. But isn’t it infinitely more likely that the cause of your frequent relationship failures is, in fact, you? Might it not be the case that you are the reason why you got dumped – again?
It’s not that you’re a bad guy; it’s probably just that you are stuck in a cycle of bad decisions and bad behavior. See, certain kinds of relationship mistakes are self-reinforcing. For example, a man might get dumped because he’s too clingy, but getting dumped will only make him clingier in his next relationship, which gets him dumped again, and again, and again. It’s a vicious cycle.
If you’re trying to figure out why you got dumped – again, read on and see if any of these guys sound at all like you.
You’re Too Clingy
It’s good to be enthusiastic about your relationship. Girlfriends appreciate your appreciation, but make no mistake about it, there is a clinginess line and you can cross it. Recognize that being clingy may be the result of enthusiasm and infatuation, or it might be a kind of defense mechanism. Ask yourself if you’re holding on to your girlfriend simply because you’ve been dumped before and you’re worried about getting dumped again. If the answer is “yes,” you need to break the cycle so you don’t get dumped – again. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
You’re Too Jealous
A little bit of jealousy is normal; picking a fight every time she talks to another man is not. If your girlfriends consistently accuse you of being too jealous, you might have trust issues. Did a previous partner cheat on you? Does the memory of that betrayal affect the way you behave in your current relationship?
Keep in mind that not every woman is unfaithful, but unreasonable jealousy is enough to drive just about every woman out of your life and into a relationship with someone else.
You Don’t Take Responsibility
Some of you men out there love to play the blame game. Things are never your fault. If you’re fightingwith your girlfriend, it’s because she’s being unreasonable. If you’re upset, it’s because of something she did. If you’re unhappy, it’s her fault. You blame the women in your life until they leave you, and then you blame them for that too.
The more women “screw you over” the more you resent them for it. Well, if you’re looking for the reason why you got dumped – again, it’s time to take a long hard look in the mirror, friend.
You’re Too Nice
See if this sounds familiar: You try to impress and please your girlfriends by being as nice as you possibly can be. You don’t complain, you don’t argue and, God forbid, you ever raise your voice.
Then, after she leaves you behind for another guy, you respond by being even nicer to the next girl you date, buying her gifts for no reason, and giving her nightly backrubs. And that’s why you got dumped – again.
We’re not saying you have to be a jerk, but the maxim “nice guys finish last” didn’t come out of thin air. Grow a backbone, and get some self-respect and you’ll have more relationship success.
More From AskMen.com:
On-Again, Off-Again Relationships
Recover From A Breakup Quickly
You’re Indiscriminate
If you find yourself getting dumped repeatedly, it might be because you’re being indiscriminate. You might think that lowering your standards will make finding a girlfriend easier. But it just means you’re going to keep picking the wrong girl; then, out of desperation, you’ll cast your net even wider only to end up making another bad decision. You’ll never find the right girl until you become more discriminating. Finding the one means being picky.
You Invest Too Much Emotionally
Investing too much emotionally is another possible reason why you got dumped – again. As your friends pair up and you keep struggling to find that special someone, you might start to get a little freaked about the idea of being alone. Consequently, in each new relationship you almost immediately start wondering if she’s the one. As the perfect match continues to elude you, you become increasingly sure that finding the right girl is the only way you’ll ever be happy. This is the kind of mindset that puts too much pressure on your partners, ultimately dooming the relationship before it starts.
Take Stock in Yourself
If you keep getting dumped, it might be time for some introspection. It’s possible that you’ve developed some bad relationship habits, some kind of fatal flaw that keeps sinking your relationships. Take a look in the mirror and be honest about what you see.
Leave a Reply