It was a battle of the bizarre on Tuesday as American Idol stopped off in Jacksonville , Fla. As the contestants got weird, the judges got weirder. In the end what we were left with was probably the best episode of the season so far.
Joshua Ulloa kicked things off with a rendition of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On” complete with beatboxing and instrument simulation. Simon said it was like watching Inspector Gadget audition (which would be AWESOME by the way). Joshua instead compared himself to Justin Guarini, (which shouldn’t help anyone’s case), but somehow this poor man’s Blake Lewis made it through for his “entertainment value.” Bygons.
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Sharon Wilbur didn’t bother trying to compare herself to past Idols, she didn’t have to. No, not because her voice was that good, but because her dog was that cute. Kara aptly commented that Sharon sounded like Britney Spears and was seemingly about to explain why she wasn’t right for this competition when – POOF! – Sasha the Shitzu cuddled up to Simon, and suddenly Sharon and Sasha were unanimously off to Hollywood.
But not before Kara and Paula had a semi make-out session and Kara blurted out “my job isn’t done here til Simon tries something on me.” Guess he snuck that one in the contract’s fine print.
As Kara reveled in her wild dreams, Simon asked contestant George Ramirez where he’d be in his wildest dreams. After much thought, George responded with, “A simple house, with a nice floor. I like marble, maybe.”
The comment would have been more surprising though if it had come before his audition. After hearing his unrecognizable version of Walking on Sunshine it was obvious that if he’s headed for a music career that house really could only happen in his wildest streams. The marble floors? Not a chance.
My wildest dreams however are apparently more attainable as one came true last night when Kaneshwa Finnie’s mother was called into the room. Finally, the judges took a stand against delusional parents and explained to this adorable, sweet woman that her little girl has no business in show business. Maybe parents everywhere will think twice now before encouraging their tone-deaf children to sing on national television show.
Luckily, Anne Marie Boskowitz mother won’t have that problem. Her daughter showed she was far from tone def in, not one, but two auditions. Boskowitz was sent out of the room by the judges with orders to come back looking and acting more like a star.
The pretty brunette had a easier time adjusting her look than her shy attitude it seemed. But considering it took her only a few minutes to just happen upon a passing makeup artist in Jacksonville, Fla., hopefully it won’t be too hard to find her inner diva.
If it turns out she needs a little more encouragement, Anne Marie can always look to Randy for inspiration. The man was so tuned into his inner star in the old Journey footage Ryan showed us I think he forgot he was sharing the stage with Steve Perry.
But just as Randy probably didn’t expect to end up judging a singing competition, so too many of these hopefuls should learn to adjust their goals so they can find the path where they actually belong. Because bizarre might get you an Idol audition, it might even get you on the judges panel, but bizarre won’t win you this competition — even your mom will tell you that.
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